New Drugs Freestyle

Album: [Untitled]

I don’t think I’m even good enough

I should quit while I’m behind

I feel like I’m biting aluminium

They’re saying what’s happened to Kai?

They’re telling me don’t ever take a break

They tell me you win or you die

They tell me not winning is my only sin and

To give into sin is to piss in the mind

Yeah, I’m not addicted to liquor

Put the glass down, you could pass out

Yeah, but if me winning was served with a lemon

Throw the cap out, I would blackout, yeah

I gotta keep winning to cover my limits

and forget the trauma I’ve been in

If I’m not on top, I can feel it

the proof that I’m nothing, I’m no one, I’m finished

I’ve gotta get up

I need validation and love

I need a whole nation of love

I gotta make up for the vacancy of it

I don’t see my pain in the face of the public

So look at me, follow me, I’m gonna covet it

Help me forget I forgot how to love me

I need me a hit of anonymous loving

To feel for a minute that I’m more than nothing to you

Yeah, ooh, I got something to prove

Soon as I step in the booth

This is me fighting abuse

This is me wanting to use

Yeah, who needs the vodka?  I got your attention

I see tequila dripping from the comment section

And blunt smoke in every like and mention

I got some new drugs

I can feel good when the views come

I’m checking my phone to consume some

Of that crack, that double tap that, I’m a user

And I’m used to, yeah, looking outside of myself, yeah

Trynna find my worth in the eyes of someone else

Yeah, if I don’t win I’m scum, yeah

If I’m number one, yeah, no that’s not enough

If I don’t love my own self

I’ve gotta unlearn being concerned about all this

Ain’t nobody on earth is flawless

I don’t wanna seek applause, it’s

outside of me, it ain’t mine

I wanna feel better, no fear in the mind,

No beer in the hand, envy in the eye,

Or anything but, thank God, I’m alive

And thank God I’m alive

Drunk driving at night with a mind full of self-hate

Another night, ‘nother midnight milkshake

Another fight with the hell my self made, like damn

How many cuts are by my hands?

How much poison’s from my soul?

What bad luck is just the man?

Like how much of me is trapped by “I am”

Which of my demons came from my damage?

What enemies came from my land?

How much of what I can’t do is what I won’t do

And what I blame it on is how I cope through it

And what I’m hating on is how I show you

It’s like I’ve had a war inside of myself

Like I opened up a door when I was like twelve

And then every morning forward, no matter my health,

I would wake up in the mud and I’m done with it

Waking up like, wow, this again?

This face, this town I’m living in, sinning in

I wanna live, I wanna finally get some new drugs

Like give me that fanny pack and that food truck

And maybe I’m stuck with just one chick, my medusa

I wanna see the sunset as a gift, hallelujah

And I got two bucks to my name, so what

I’m a new buddha

I wanna feel calm in the jaws of a barracuda

Laying in my blood and I still got love for my shooter

Rewind everybody, we’re the same, unmade, no doula

Look at everything you want and hate and face your ruler